Monday, 27 January 2014

#firstworldproblems - Shopping Issues

I hate shopping, I mean sometimes its OK, but after this weekend I've just had. I can say hand on my heart today that me and shopping have fallen out.

Yes, this is a weight related issue for me and also a first world problem, but hey I'm a first world gal, so its relevant!! So this is a little bit of a bitchy/ ranty pants / pity party type of post!!
And I wasn't going to share it with you BUT after chatting with a few of my friends, it would seem that my stressful weekend of shopping with issues is not just something that happens to me, and for that I am slightly relieved but also a but sad that we have to go through this awful ordeal and not come out the better for it.

As I said this is a total first world problem for me!! My 30th Birthday is next week and with that means that it will be marked with a birthday party, a good idea I thought as I booked it and set the wheels in motion.
That was until I realised that I would be needing to start looking for a lovely dress for the party, since all eyes would be on me!!

And so the hunt began for the perfect dress for me. I had a look online, I had a look in my local shops, and I made a plan that meant that my whole weekend was booked up with dress related shopping, fine I told myself, this needs to be done, so lets do it....

I ordered 2 dresses online (still waiting on those to arrive) On Saturday, I went to a shopping center and to town, walked in and back out of every shop, saw NOTHING that I liked the look of. It was essentially a day wasted!! I went home deflated and upset. I was running out of time and shops!!

So on Sunday, I went shopping again, this time with my mum, (handy to have a second pair of eyes and also a straight talker onside.) We went into shops that I would usually bypass as they would be classed as "skinny shops" in my books and indeed a few of the sales assistants looked put out when I asked what sized they stocked up too! Not everyones a size 10 skinnie minnie shop assistant   grrrr 

I would say that I tried on close to 20 dresses that day, we basically went around the shops and anything in my size was brought to the changing rooms, I reckon more than half of the dresses didn't fit me, couldn't pull some up over my hips, down over my boobs, tie up the back...
I was getting upset and sweaty in the changing rooms and very very disheartened. I was fit to cry, I just wanted to give up, go home and cancel the whole bloody party!!!

As I say, I tried on close to 20 dresses all in what I would deem to be "my size" and they might aswell have been 5 sizes too small for me! I couldn't even open the curtain to show my mum half the dresses and I got stuck in a few trying to wiggle in and out of them!!

What should have been a fun outing to find a fab dress for my party ended up being a rotten Sunday afternoon, that put me into a really bad mood and head space :( not good at all.

I did at the end of the day find a dress that "will do" and it will I'm sure!! BUT I wanted to go out, browse the shops, pick a few lovely dresses, have a little fashion show and have my pick of what I would feel lovely in on the night of my party!!

Instead I have a dress that "will do" because I couldn't find anything nice, that was in my size and covered my ass (both important things in a dress)

Last night I came home, disheartened, feeling, huge and horrible, I didn't write this post last night because I was too upset and couldn't use my words!!

I just find it very frustrating that you can be a different clothes sizes in different shops. And I'm usually fine with this once I stick to "my shops" and I know what sizes to try on.
I also know that I went shopping at the wrong time because the sale rails are still out and the new collections are "on the way"
I'm also only 3 weeks back into my healthy eating and training, so its admittedly not the best time for me to be shopping, but it had to be done!

So the big 3.0. is looming and I'm dreading it now, not because I'm getting older (yes that sucks) but because I'm afraid that I won't feel nice for my party. The last thing I want is to be super self conscience on a night where all eyes will be on me!! eeek
To try and 'help' me get over myself for my big night I have booked to have a spray tan (cuz life is better with a tan) and also to have my hair and make up done on the day... so hoping that this will take the sting out of my dress upset!!

Have you guys suffered a similar experience? I wonder does this happen to the skinnie minnies of the world!!

As I say, a total #firstworldproblem  **le sigh**

Friday, 10 January 2014

The Post Christmas/ January Hangover

Hey All,

Sorry I haven’t been around, well I have but not blogging!!

The Christmas Hangover has been hitting me hard this week and I’ve been feeling a big negative so I decided not to vent and rant on here and annoy ye all.
I reckon if I had, someone woulda called round to kick me up the hole and I would have deserved it

So here we go. I was not a good girl over the Christmas.  I was full of good intentions, yes.

However, Good intentions did not stop me from eating everything & anything in sight (even when I wasn’t hungry/ didn’t want it/ like it) and eating at crazy times!!

I would usually shrug this behaviour off and throw in an “Ah sure its Christmas” but I don’t deem this to be a good enough excuse for me anymore!
I’ve been doing the dog and now I’m paying for it 10 folds!!

Truth be told, I’m been on a slippery slope for the last month or so and the last two weeks, just highlighted for me how badly I choose to eat when out of my routine and how qucikly I can gain weight,. Its kinda scary.

I went back to work and my routine on Monday. Threw on my usual black work pants and a  jumper and off I went. By 9.30am I was feeling very uncomfortable, my black pants was TIGHT! I mean scary tight like I’d put on the wrong trousers!!  I had a red ring around my “waist” it was that tight and even walking it was tight around the back of my knee’s. I can honestly say I’d forgotten how awful this feels!!  Iwas paranoid for the whole day and felt like I’d worn tights to work rather than my usually (kinda baggy and comfy) black pants!! An 8 hour Wedgie is never good!!

The Food baby I had acquired over the Christmas holidays was not gonna let me forget about it just because I was back to being good.

1. food baby
word of the day: October 13, 2010
when you eat so much, that your stomach looks pregnant
Jeez! I ate so much, I look like I am having a food baby!

Here are some of the other negative things that I could write about but I think you get where I’m going at this stage and how I’m feeling

·         I feel bigger than I’ve ever felt
·         I’m so uncomfortable all the time
·         I’m a little more paranoid when dressing and trying to hide my extra wobbly bits
·         I feel sluggish and crap
·         My skin and hair are freaking  out with me
·         FOOD BABY! Gross!
·         My belt is on the 2nd loop hole  (It was almost into the 4th loop before the Xmas)

But last Monday I was back to my familiar routine, I had a sugar free day and drank LOADSA water, it was needed after all the over eating!!
I’ve been to 3 classes this week to try and do some  “damage control” before my official Post Christmas Weigh in tomorrow 11th January.

But I think your with me when I say that the result tomorrow won’t be a good one! But it will be a new start for me and DOWN DOWN DOWN from here!! It has to be!!

Just thought I’d keep ye guys updated. I’m back and I’m on a mission to succeed.

This is only a minor set back!! Altho it feels like one big Food Baby at the moment **sigh**

Stay tuned, to find out what I have planned for myself