Happy Monday Y'All,
I hope you had a good weekend, I'm happy to report that I hit the scales on Saturday morning and I was down 2lbs :)
And I even had 2 pancakes on Pancake Tuesday, so I’m happy with my result.
I must say that now that I’ve realised that losing the weight 2/3lbs per week is the way to go for me. Before if I was down 2lbs, I’d be wishing it was 4lbs! I never thought it was good enough, regardless of the loss, but the fog is starting to clear from my negative, foggy, silly head and the realisation is dawning that quicker isn’t better and in the long run, slow and steady weight loss means that it will stay off that way. And all the little numbers add up. Here I am in week 6 of this year and I’m down 8lbs. woo hoo
I do hope to speed up the next 8lb loss (it’s a personal goal/ mental block thing that I need to get over) BUT once the scales are moving down every week, I will be happy.
I promise not to be so hard on myself and to reward myself with treats that are not food! Easier said than done when I think and dream about food ALL the fecking time! But baby steps for me.
Every time I’ve ventured on a weight loss plan (there have been a lot of attempts) by 6 weeks in my interest would have waned, I’d be bored with the food, tired from the exercise, blame the weather for me being a lazyass, and be happy that my work pants is no longer leaving a red mark around my waist when I sit down and slowly the treats would slip back in and I’d “forget” to track the extra potatoes at dinner or the sneaky biscuit that I ate when no one was looking. Yes I know nobody cares what I eat or what I weigh but I do and I’ve only been letting myself down.
I was only saying at the weekend to a friend of mine of is also trying to loose a few pounds, that this time it feels different, this time it doesn’t seem so daunting to me that I’ve set a goal of 60lbs. This time I feel like I will keep going and I will achieve what I’ve always wanted. To be a healthy weight, to not be in the obese category, to give myself a chance to look in the mirror and be happy with what I see (sometimes.)
As you know I’ve tried so many different weigh loss methods and I’ve spent thousands of euro’s along the way! Thinking that if I threw money at it and got myself into crazy debt, that at least I’d be slim and broke rather than fat and miserable and broke! It doesn’t work, at least it didn’t work for me. I lost a few stone, but I was still miserable, so I ate and gained it all back and more, it’s a vicious circle.
People think that because I’m such a “big girl” that the weight should magically melt off me! Yes I guess it would if this was my first attempt ever at loosing weight, but because I’ve been on a “diet” most of my grown up life, my body doesn’t understand what’s going on. People’s unintentional cruel comments like this used to cut me. I’d take it personally and be hurt, but I realise now that its just their opinion and if nothing else its their lack of knowledge that leads them to spout rubbish like this.
But no more, I’m on this journey for me, nobody else, let people make their comments and petty jibes. I will succeed, little by little, in the long term I know that losing this weight slowly will mean that I can enjoy my life and continue to loose weight also, I don’t have to feel deprived or compromise. Before I would lock myself in and tell myself that I wouldn’t go out until I’ve lost X amount of weight!
But now I see that if I keep busy and go out and enjoy myself and plan for my nights out and dinners out, that I can enjoy these evenings with my friends without feeling deprived.
I can make meals that are I am allowed to eat and are tasty and lovely and that exercise is my friend and my “me” time which I now look forward too rather than dreading.
Yes this time I’m ready to succeed at loosing weight.
8lbs lost, 52lbs to go....
