Weight Update

**Source Google Images**

****Warning, this post is all over the place, so if you fancy a stroll though my random mental thoughts, read on****

I’m a bit stuck at the moment and I’m finding it hard to find the words to begin to explain where I am at!!

My heads all over the place, I want to loose weight and I want to be fit and healthy and happy, but at the same time I’m tired of the never ending struggle.

I’m sick of the constant battle/ obsessing/ thoughts with myself on the what I can and cannot eat.

I’m a firm believe in the fake it till you make it mode that I sometimes use to get my mojo going and to curb my over eating.

However, my will power has been AWOL for a while now and although I’m full of good intentions, I make food plans, book exercise classes etc,

I’m finding that I’m very easily swayed at the moment. I’m eating my 3 good and healthy meals in the day but I’m also giving myself permission to have all the other extras that I worked so hard last year to cut out. Instead of smiling and saying “no thanks” when offered anything other than a cup of tea I find myself accepting the cake/ biscuits/ chocolate that’s being offered to me and going back for more!

I've been avoiding writing a post because I’m not sure what this means for me at the moment! I kept telling myself that once I've had one total good week, then I’ll come back and be on the wagon and start posting more often. But it hasn't happened!! I've gotten to day 4 and then given in a had a **creme egg (*insert whatever’s going) with my cuppa as a “treat” for being so “good”

But for now, I’m tired!!! Its been 5 years this month since my weight loss journey really began for me and I truly am a different girl to the once who started this quest/journey way back then, physically and mentally. I have made a lot of lifestyle changes. (see photos here) 

Yes I’m frustrated that after 5 years I am still no where near my goal/aim and that’s all on me and my yo-yo way of doing things. I’m still my own worst enemy and worst critic, but I think we’re all guilty of being very hard on ourselves. My point is tho ( I do have one I promise) I think its time that I accept my body and myself for who I am right now, yes I’m a work in progress.. but that’s how it has to be, and I need to embrace this fact rather than living in denial and avoiding mirrors. (ye read the post about my meltdown over my birthday outfit last month)

I feel like I've missed out on a lot of things over the years because I've allowed my weight issues to rule me and my life.

I've put so many things on the long finger and told myself that I’ll do that when I’m slim. I've missed out on nights out and events because “I’d nothing to wear”  I've avoided going to places for fear I’d be the biggest person in the room and people would stare.  I realize that all of these “things” are my issues and all in my head, but at the same time theses thoughts/ fears have been holding me back.

So I've decided to try and embrace me for now and basically get over myself and start enjoying my life as I am right now. I’m not getting any younger and life is short.

By accepting that loosing weight will be on ongoing theme in my life, I hope that I’ll be more accepting of myself.. I know that I can continue to loose weight and still enjoy myself. ( I just decided that I couldn't, for no reason at all!)

**Source Google Images**

I haven’t completely throw in the towel just yet tho! Yes, I’m eating cake almost every day BUT I’m exercising regularly too.. I’m really half assing things for now and I seem to be almost maintaining. I’m up and down the same few pounds since the new year.

Jan +2

Feb -1.5

Mar +1

I don’t know if any of you can even make sense of this post!

I do want to loose weight, but I’m not willing to commit myself to it 100% at the moment!! I know I’m the only person that can fix this and I’m sure I will…..

I know that this is something that I will struggle and fight with for my whole life and I’ve accepted this to be my fate. 

Operation Skinnie Minnie update #5

Hey, If you haven’t read my other progress reports, well here’s your chance..   Get clicking….

Operation Skinnie Minnie update #1
Operation Skinnie Minnie update #2
Operation Skinnie Minnie update #3

Operation Skinnie Minnie update #4 

 

Hey,

I know I’m very late with this months progress report, but I thought that since I posted loadsa photos last week from my Gallery of Shame that I ‘d leave the lovely Lycra shots till a later date!

But today is that day.

Since my last post things have been very good for me, I gave myself a stern talking too and committed myself to cop on 100% I think we all need a good kick up the bum at times, I defo did.

I am down 7lbs since my last update (14.04.13) which means that I am down over the stone mark and I’m now officially the lightest I've ever been in my adult life EVER.

Its been a good month for me, I've gotten over my own mental sabotage, I've set myself the realistic goal of being down 2lbs per week, (I've managed this 4 out of the last 5 weeks)

I've changed my hair, my car, got new runners, but best of all my mind-set has changed and I truly believe that I can do this.

TO THE LEFT

TO THE RIGHT

ME BACK FAT

Yes I talk the talk ALL THE TIME. But I’m the worlds worse for taking my own advise, oh I can give it out alrite, but I've been slow to believe my own hype just incase I fail!

But the way I feel at the moment, failing isn't an option, the only way is down for me at the moment. I feel very positive in all aspects of my life, I think the sunshine has a big part to play in that too J

I want to eat light and feel light and get up off my bum and go for walks when I don’t have a class booked. You never regret a work out that you've done, and even if its just a stroll rather than a power walk  it’s a lot more than what you’d be doing if you were sitting on the couch.

I know I said last month that I’d take my measurements but I totally forgot! But I have measurements from a body wrap that I had done a few months back, so I plan to use these as my before numbers and next month I promise to give the results out.

In the last week of so I've bumped into people that I haven’t seen for a while and they have been complimentary about my appearance and this has been a huge boost. I’m not advertising what I’m doing, well I tell you guys here, but a lot of my friends/ family don’t read my blog. So they wouldn't know about my careful eating, gym visits and weekly weigh in’s. So its nice to hear it from people that are unaware of my hard work and efforts. Not that I don’t appreciate every supportive word or comment that I receive. I guess I’m just happy that my loss is now starting to show in the real world, rather than just in my imagination and magic mirror, lol. I know that sounds a bit mad!

Apologies for the photos, they were taken after a Rip60 class, so I'm a bit of a sweaty Betty!! I normally try to take these before I go to my classes!!

Also, I never got around to editing these and trying to make them “pretty” but the camera doesn't lie, so your seeing the raw/real photos!

I hope your starting to see results with your weight loss and fitness attempts. I’d love to hear your stories

Operation Skinnie Minnie update #4‏

Hey, If you haven’t read my other progress reports, than what are you waiting for? Get clicking….

Operation Skinnie Minnie update #1 
Operation Skinnie Minnie update #2
Operation Skinnie Minnie update #3

           

Operation Skinnie Minnie update #4‏

2                 

Its time to report back with another update of how my month has been and its not been the best of month I must admit!!!

Especially with the two bank holiday weekends thrown in, I had lotsa binges, fell off the wagon, got back on and fell straight back on, right now I’m hanging onto the back of the wagon, my feet aren’t firmly on it, but I’m 90% back to where I should be. I’ve been up and down the same 3lbs for most of this month, so I’ve yet to hit the 14lb mark!! Not good for being 3 months in really!! I’m not meeting any of my own targets and I’m pretty disappointed to be honest.

Now to be fair I can see a difference in myself in some of my clothes, I’m gutted that I didn’t start taking my measurements back in January, but its never too late as this journey is on going, so I’ve taken my measurements today. That way I can report back next month on my scales loss and my inch loss. I’m being advised from all sides that the inch loss is showing more than the scales results.

I’m putting this down to doing so many spin & abs classes, its good that I’m toning and losing and I will benefit from this in the long run as I don’t fancy having excess skin on my person (I don’t imagine anyone sets out to get this on purpose)

So I’m still in the same spot as last month at the moment. I’m 2lbs away from being the lightest I've been in my adult life and 4lbs away from being down 14lb.

Both of these goals seem so small and very achievable, but as you know I've somehow manages to hit the self sabotage button on my brain and this 4lbs at the moment feels like 4 stone to me!!

So I’m planning on baby steps for the minute to get past this particular obstacle. I know that once I pass these numbers and reach these targets, its all new and (hopefully exciting) territory for me.

I’m hoping that once I hit these numbers and get under them that this will be a new motivation for me and spur me on to loose the next 14lbs in less time.

This 14lb loss will be the same stone that I lost 3 TIMES last year and gained it back, so its 4^th time lucky for me this time.. and I mean business this time.

Also at the moment I’m refusing to buy myself any new clothes (even though I really need some spring/summer work wear) until I’m buying them in a size smaller.

Oh I almost forgot, in the last few months my feet have shrunk!! I’m pretty gutted by this! I never realised that this could happen! I thought that your feet stayed the same all of your grown up life and like handbags were friends for life L So I’m afraid to try on half of my collection for fear that they no longer will fit me L Everything else I’m quite happy to put in the “they don’t fit me” pile, but not my lovely and pretty shoes!! *sigh* It’s a bittersweet side affect I guess, and feck all I can do about it.

For the month of April my target is to be down at least 2lbs each week. If I can do this, then I should be able to get back on track and get cracking on stone number 2

If there’s anything in particular you’d like me to do a rant post about, do let me know and I’ll see what I can do, I've got a few half written posts on the go all the time; these posts seem to be the ones that people like to read and can relate too, so feel free to make suggestions J

I am also in the process of putting together a photo diary of me from the last 5 years together for your viewing. And I will be making myself a Facebook page when someone teaches me how.

How’s your weight loss journey going? I’d love to hear all about it.....